Yesterday, I spoke about patterns observed among some women in our Maldivian community, and today I want to reflect on something equally important: patterns observed among some men. This is not about all men, nor is it a generalization. It is based on observations and experiences shared by individuals. One pattern that is becoming more visible is men depending on women financially. We are seeing situations where some men are intentionally drawn to financially stable women, not to build together, but because they see comfort in what the woman already has. Some even say openly that she can take care of herself and even support them. This slowly shifts the natural sense of responsibility. In Islam, a man is not defined by what he takes, but by what he carries. He is entrusted with responsibility, with provision, with accountability. When that is avoided, it is not just a financial issue; it reflects something deeper.
Another pattern we are noticing is men who actually have stable jobs and are earning, yet they are not stepping into their responsibility to provide for their families. So the question is not whether they are capable, but where their priorities are. When we look deeper, we can see money going into gambling, online games, temporary pleasures, other women, and daily lifestyle habits like coffee and outings. These may look small individually, but together they show a mindset—one that is choosing comfort and distraction over responsibility. This is where we need to pause and reflect on the mind behind these actions. Some men today are not lacking money; they are lacking direction. Responsibility requires discipline, and discipline requires a strong mind. When the mind is not trained, it avoids pressure and looks for escape. It goes towards what feels easy instead of what builds strength. There can also be deeper reasons—fear of failure, lack of purpose, or confusion about identity and role.
From an Islamic perspective, provision is not optional for a man. Allah clearly connects responsibility with spending from what one earns. It is not about control; it is about accountability. The Prophet ﷺ himself lived with responsibility; he worked, he contributed, and he never chose a life of dependency when he had the ability to provide. When this responsibility is avoided, it creates imbalance. Women are then forced to carry roles they were not meant to carry alone, and over time this affects respect, connection, and stability within relationships. Then we start hearing concerns about women changing, but we do not always look at what caused that shift.
If this pattern continues in the long run, it will not just affect individuals; it will slowly reshape the foundation of the Maldivian community. Over time, responsibility within families will weaken. When men step away from their role, and women are pushed to carry both emotional and financial burdens, the balance that keeps a family stable begins to break. This does not make women stronger in a healthy way; it pushes them into survival mode. And when a woman is constantly in survival mode, softness, trust, and emotional connection begin to fade. Relationships then shift from partnership to pressure.
In the long run, even marriage can start to lose its meaning. Instead of being built on responsibility, trust, and shared purpose, it can become transactional—based on what each person can gain rather than what they are willing to give. This can lead to delayed marriages, unstable relationships, and increasing separation, because the foundation is weak from the start. Children growing up in such environments begin to normalize what they see. Boys may grow up without understanding responsibility and accountability, and girls may grow up believing they must carry everything alone. This creates a cycle that continues across generations.
There is also a deeper spiritual impact. In Islam, roles and responsibilities are designed to create balance. When these are neglected, it is not only a social issue; it becomes a moral one. Barakah in wealth and life begins to reduce when responsibilities are ignored and when money is spent on things that do not bring value. Over time, even with income, there can be less peace, more conflict, and a sense of emptiness within families.
At a community level, this also affects long-term stability. When money is earned but not used to build families or support responsibility, it is consumed in short-term pleasures instead of long-term growth. This weakens both the family structure and the community as a whole. The most concerning part is that when these patterns repeat often enough, they begin to feel normal. And once something becomes normal, it becomes much harder to correct.
This reflection is not to blame, because there are many men who are fulfilling their roles with strength and sincerity. But patterns that are emerging need to be acknowledged so they do not become the standard. At the end of the day, this is not just about money. It is about responsibility, identity, and purpose. A man is not defined by how much he earns, but by what he chooses to take responsibility for, and when that responsibility is avoided, it not only affects him, but it affects the entire structure of family and society.
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