Why We Become a Child Again Around Our Mother

They say a mother can take your pain away and make you feel like a child again.  It is true—not just in a poetic sense, but in a very real psychological way.

After living with my in-laws for some time, I started to notice something strange whenever I visited my mother. The moment I entered her home, something inside me shifted. My voice softened. I felt lighter. I would leave responsibilities at the door and sit on the floor or curl up on the sofa like I used to. I was not acting strong or trying to be put together—I simply became… myself. A softer, more vulnerable, more peaceful version of who I am.

I often found myself wondering, “Is this really me? Or am I just slipping into some old pattern?”

That question stayed with me until I started reading about the neuroscience and psychology behind it. What I learned made everything make sense.

The Brain Remembers Safety

Our brains are wired to remember emotions. When you are around your mother—especially if she represents love, safety, and security—your brain activates the same emotional and physiological patterns from childhood. This is because the limbic system, which stores emotional memory, does not recognize age or logic. It responds to emotional cues.

If your mother’s voice, presence, or home reminds you of safety, your nervous system automatically shifts into rest and regulation mode. This is why, as adults, we often feel younger—or more childlike—when we are back in our mother’s care. It is  not a weakness. It is biology.

Even the scent of her food, the way she says your name, or how she folds the laundry can activate a deep internal response that says, “You are safe. You are home.”

You Don’t Have to Be “Strong” Anymore

In the outside world—especially around in-laws, at work, or in society—many of us carry a version of ourselves that is composed, responsible, and always “on.” However, when you return to your mother’s presence, you subconsciously feel like you can let that mask go. There is no pressure to perform or prove.

You do not have to hold it all together. You can let your guard down and just be. Sometimes, that means crying without explaining why. Sometimes, it means sleeping more deeply. Sometimes, it is just being quiet, knowing that someone understands you without needing words.

It is Not Regression—It is Healing

Many people mistake this shift as emotional immaturity or regression.  It is not. It is healing. It is reconnection. Your ability to be vulnerable in that space shows how safe your nervous system feels.

Psychologists describe this as a secure base—a relationship where you feel free to explore the world but always know there is a place you can return to for emotional refueling. For many, that is what a mother is.

Of course, not everyone has this experience. For some, their relationship with their mother may be complicated or painful. However, for those of us who feel that shift—that comfort, that safety—it is a reminder that no matter how grown we are, there is a part of us that still needs nurturing.

In Her Presence, We Are Allowed to Be Small Again

There is nothing wrong with becoming a child again in the arms of someone who once held your entire world together. In fact, it is one of the most beautiful parts of being human. To know that no matter how strong, independent, or accomplished you become—there is still a space where you can melt, fall apart, and be rebuilt with nothing more than a smile, a warm meal, or a gentle touch.

So the next time you find yourself softening in your mother’s presence, do not question it.

Let yourself become a child again.
Let yourself be held.
Let yourself heal.