“I shifted my worrying and doubt to a strength” Mariyam Mohamed

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My parents were separated when I was a baby. I grew up without a father and at times I wonder how it would have been if my father took me to school and went to my parent meetings. How it would have been, if he was actively involved in my life? How different I would turnout? How different people would have treated me? How different would it be if I had a single picture of myself with my father? These are some doubts that kept going in my mind for many years but despite all these doubts I believe my father is a good person and I still do. Why would someone doubt and then have a logical explanation in their mind? Why am I telling this chapter of my life that is so deeply rooted in my belief system?

Today I am learning more about myself than I have ever learned in the past 3 decades. Ever since I started my journey as a coach I find new ways to heal myself. When you experience trauma through a long period of time it becomes a part of your belief system but this all can be changed by a simple shift of thoughts you hold in your mind. We all have choices in life. The biggest power we have is the power of choosing the thoughts we want to hold in our mind. When we encounter unpleasant situations, sometimes we create doubt in our mind through having negative ideas about the situations.  Negative ideas are sum of negative thoughts we hold in our mind. It is natural for a human-being to think negatively at times but when these doubts and worries persist over a period of time we create an emotion called fear.  We start building our paradigm based on this fear. Your body starts to create more fight and flight hormones that leads to chemical imbalance showing symptoms of different diseases that are not real. In many cases fear turns into anxiety or/and depression.

I shifted my thought of not having a father figure made me weak to a strength. I focused on why not having a father figure helped me to show empathy towards other people. I focused on the good qualities that I gained because of a lack in my life. I shifted my focus on the blessings in my life. I focused on gratitude and forgiveness.  Even though now I know how to do these things consciously, I was unknowingly doing the same things throughout my life. I was choosing positive thoughts in almost all the negative situations in my life.

How did I do that? I did that through understanding. Understanding comes through implanting a positive thought and studying the situation you are facing at that time. Studying can be done through learning people behavior, reading materials, gaining knowledge and becoming more aware of your surroundings. This builds a strong faith of hope. When you build hope even in times of difficulty, you are still expressing well-being that accelerates your mood and creativity. The truth is your mind cannot differentiate what is imagined and real. It can hold anything that you consciously feed it. However, most of us use past experiences to understand new experiences which leads to a repetitive cycle of thoughts. One way to change this is to change the perspective of your past experience so you are re-registering new information to your brain. It takes continuous effort to heal oneself and it doesn’t happen overnight. Healing is a journey that you experience at different stages of life.

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