This morning, I found myself sitting in silence, listening to my morning fortune tune. As the music played, I closed my eyes and felt as though I had been transported into the heart of a forest. I could hear birds singing in the distance, the gentle dripping of water, and the rhythmic sound of waves meeting the shore. It was one of those rare moments when the outside world disappeared, and all that remained was stillness.
In that stillness, a thought entered my mind so quietly that it almost whispered. I came into this world with nothing. And one day, I will leave this world with nothing.
For a few moments, I simply sat with those words. They carried a strange sense of peace, yet they also challenged something deep inside me. If I own nothing in the beginning and nothing in the end, then why do I spend so much of my life wanting? Why do I sometimes feel hurt when people do not give me the attention I hoped for? Why do I become attached to relationships, achievements, recognition, or even expectations that someone should love me in a certain way?
These questions stayed with me long after the music had ended. They led me to explore philosophy, psychology, neuroscience, and, most importantly, the wisdom of Islam. What I discovered reminded me that wanting is part of being human, but being ruled by our wants is not.
The Philosophy of Possession
For thousands of years, philosophers have questioned the idea of ownership. Can we truly own anything? The house we live in will eventually belong to someone else. The money we earn will one day be spent by others. Even our physical bodies are temporary homes entrusted to us for a short time.
Perhaps ownership is an illusion. Maybe we are not owners at all, but caretakers. Everything we have—our talents, relationships, wealth, health, and even our time—is something we have been trusted with for a while.
When we begin to see life this way, something changes. Gratitude replaces entitlement. Appreciation replaces fear. We stop measuring our worth by what we possess because we realise we were never meant to possess anything forever.
The paradox is beautiful. The tighter we hold onto life, the more anxious we become. The lighter we hold it, the freer we feel.
The Islamic Perspective: This World Was Never Meant to Be Permanent
Islam teaches this truth with remarkable clarity. Allah reminds us repeatedly that this worldly life is temporary. We are travellers, not permanent residents.
Every blessing we have is an amanah—a trust from Allah. Our wealth, our children, our spouses, our careers, our health, and even our own bodies are gifts that have been entrusted to us. They are not guarantees.
This perspective transforms the way we experience life. When something enters our lives, we receive it with gratitude. When something leaves, we return it with patience because ultimately it belonged to Allah before it ever came to us.
This does not mean we should stop loving people or enjoying life. Islam never asks us to become emotionally distant. Instead, it teaches us to love without worshipping, to appreciate without becoming attached, and to trust Allah more than we trust the temporary nature of this world.
Perhaps that is why one of the greatest forms of peace comes from tawakkul—placing our trust in Allah. We begin to understand that our security does not come from people staying, circumstances remaining the same, or plans unfolding perfectly. Our security comes from knowing that Allah remains constant when everything else changes.
Why the Mind Wants More
Psychology tells us that the human mind is designed to seek. Our ancestors survived because they constantly searched for food, safety, shelter, and connection. A brain that stopped wanting was less likely to survive.
The problem is that our brains still operate with this ancient survival system even though our environment has changed dramatically.
Once one desire is fulfilled, another quickly appears. We achieve a goal, and almost immediately we create a new one. We receive appreciation, and soon we crave more. We buy something we wanted for months, only to discover that the excitement fades surprisingly quickly. Psychologists call this hedonic adaptation. We adapt to what we have, and what once felt extraordinary becomes ordinary.
The mind keeps whispering, "Just one more." One more achievement. One more relationship. One more success. One more possession. The tragedy is that the destination keeps moving.
The Body Also Holds Onto Wanting
Wanting is not just a thought. It is also a bodily experience. When we anticipate receiving something we desire, our brain releases dopamine. Contrary to popular belief, dopamine is not simply the "pleasure chemical." It is the chemical of pursuit. It motivates us to keep searching, chasing, and expecting.
That is why anticipation often feels more exciting than actually getting what we wanted. Our nervous system becomes conditioned to the chase. Sometimes we become addicted not to the thing itself, but to the feeling of pursuing it.
When our expectations are not met, our nervous system may interpret disappointment as a threat. Our heart rate changes. Our muscles tense. We feel anxious, rejected, or restless. The body reacts before the mind has even finished the story. Understanding this helped me realise something important. Sometimes I am not suffering because reality is painful. I am suffering because my nervous system has become attached to an expectation.
Wanting Versus Needing
One of the biggest lessons I have learned is the difference between wanting and needing. A want says, "I would like this." A need says, "I cannot survive without this."
The problem begins when our wants disguise themselves as needs.
"I need this person to validate me."
"I need everyone to understand me."
"I need recognition."
"I need people to stay."
In reality, many of these are wants that our emotions have promoted into necessities. When we confuse wants with needs, disappointment becomes inevitable because human beings cannot consistently meet all of our emotional expectations. Only Allah can fill every space within the heart.
Attachment Is Not Love
For a long time, I believed that strong attachment was a sign of deep love. Now I wonder whether attachment and love are actually very different.
Love allows people to be who they are. Attachment tries to control outcomes. Love gives. Attachment demands. Love creates peace. Attachment creates fear.
When we become attached to outcomes, we begin negotiating with reality. We resist change. We fear loss. We exhaust ourselves trying to hold onto what was never ours to keep. Perhaps true love is learning to appreciate deeply while accepting that everything in this life is temporary.
Living with Open Hands
As I reflected on these thoughts, I realised that perhaps the goal of life is not to stop wanting altogether. Wanting helps us grow, dream, create, and build meaningful lives.
The invitation is different. It is to hold our dreams with open hands. To love people wholeheartedly without believing they belong to us. To celebrate success without allowing it to define us. To enjoy blessings while remembering their true Source. To accept that every ending is part of the design of life. When we loosen our grip, peace quietly enters.
This morning began with birds singing, waves moving, and water gently flowing. Nature was teaching me a lesson long before I recognised it. The birds did not try to hold onto their songs. The waves did not cling to the shore. The water did not resist its flow. Everything in creation understands movement. Perhaps we are the only ones who spend so much energy trying to stop life from changing.
I came into this world with nothing. I will leave this world with nothing. Maybe the purpose of life is not to collect as much as I can before I leave. Maybe the purpose is to become the kind of person who leaves with a heart that is lighter than when it arrived. Because in the end, it is not what I owned that will matter. It is who I became while everything was passing through my hands.
To be continued...
Comments
Post a Comment